so anyways, i havent posted in a LONG time, but whatever. alot has changed, i like drugs, a little too much. *rolls eyes* yeha, andrew and i are probably going to breaking up. ive been attracting alot of people, my best guy friend has asked me to be his "first" and i dont know what to do. we got a new puppy, and white german shepard, and a lobster, he keeps eating all my fish...:( and, im staring at a stupid computer screen. how entertaining....... nope.. so anyways, i hope everyone is well, and i wonder how many people actually read this thing... im -44 tbucks, i dont know how that happened.... weird. i havent been on here in forever.. since Jv was put down.. in april or something. my mind is fried.... *Watch salad fingers! www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm * www.fat-pie.com/salad2.htm * www.fat-pie.com/salad3.htm * www.fat-pie.com/salad4.htm * so anyways . ta
It's 7:30 am and she wakes up suddenly to find she has to be there in 30 mins. She rolls over frantically and screams at her partner " Wake up! We have to go! Now!". They rush to get ready and wake his mom up. She gives them a ride, but first she says, "Why don't you wait for a gas station to open at 8." Then the girl inturupts, " The point of me going is to spend time with her, not to watch her die." So the three of them hop in the car, and drive to her parents house. His moms asks " Will there be coffee on?" and the girl replies " Of course, there always is. You can come in if you want." The mom refuses and they go in and get her coffee. The girl walks silently into her step-moms room, trying not to wake her. It's useless. Her step mom begins to talk. "Darryl went to pick up Jessie. He'll be back in a bit." The girl see her dog laying on the floor, in pain. She walks over to her and sits down. "Hi puppy.." she says, and begins to stroke her head. Her step-mom begins to talk again, " The vet said he would be here around 9:30. They had an emergency up north." " Ok." says the girl. She sits there petting her dog and begins to cry. The tears are streaming, but shes trying not to let her step-mom know. A few mins have passed, and by this time her step-mom had gotten up and gone into the kitchen for coffee. The girl still sits near her companion and she hears her step-mom say to her partner " Is your mom here?" "Yes." he replies. "Invite her in for some coffee." So her partner leaves the house and gets his mom. She is still sitting in the bedroom with her dog, crying, and paying no attention to the world around her. In her mind there are only thoughts and past memories. She cries and holds her dog tightly. But suddenly, she stops crying. The reality of the fatal injection left her mind briefly. Just then, her dog struggles to get up and turn around, her nails scratching at the carpet. She can hardly move, but still manages to turn herself around. The sight of this brings the girl back into tears, and they both her and her dog get up and wander into the kitchen for something to eat. The dog eats her regular meal, while the girl eats nothing. She finds the phone and calls her gramma trying to get her mothers number. She gets it and calls her hoping to make things right with her again. They talk for about 30 mins leaving the girl worrying about the dog. They resolve there issues and makes plans for her birthday, everything is well between them. But in the house, her partners mom wants to leave. So she says her goodbyes to her dog and regretfully gets in the car. On the way home, she remembers that she forgot to do the most important thing she was suposed to to. " I forgot to say 'I love you'.." she thinks to herself. She sits silently in the car knowing that she will never see her companion again.
Wow, has it ever been a long time since ive updated! Sorry about that guys. My life hasent been TOO exciting to write about. But things have changed, and its not so good.
I'm sitting here in teh library. Its 5th period now, and i have a spare. Somehow i managed to get one, even though i have still 16 credits to get. I'm bored as hell, and trying to decide how i should feel about things. At this particular moment, there are as many good newcomings in my life as there are bad, and its hard to decide which to act upon first. Should it be the good side consisting of Marriage and Good Grades? Or Death of a life time companion and Blindness? They are all ripping me in different directions. Here's some info on the four to let you know exactly whats going on...
Marriage- Barb is marrying Jim, the man thats lived at her house for a few years, and has occupied my room leaving me no choise but to sleep in the basement while im there. They are to be on May 24 weekend. Everyone wants me to be the brides maid, but i will have to await the time when i will be asked.
Grades- I'm getting exceptionaly high scores on Biology, and I am very proud. For once I am doing well in a subject other that music.
Death- My dog, J.V., has tumors, they are almost to her heart and lungs. Therefore, she has only a mere week and a half left to live (assuming they dont put her down sooner). Also, I havent been home lately, so there goes a month that i could have spent taking care of her...
Blindness- My gramma is going in for surgery on her eyes. It's a simple proceedure that involves the doctors litterally taking her eyes out, and cutting them open. This will leave her temporarily blind for up to 6 months. Although there is a high chance of her sight never recovering. The eye drops alone are going to eventually make her go blind. Aswell, her eyes are a beautiful blue color, sweet, and inviting. But soon, they will change to brown. A color not so welcoming. Not a brown like Meaghans, Hers are woderful. More like sludge, in a sewar. Its hurts me greatly to know that she will never see me marry, see me children, or see how successful i could one day be...
Other that those four, there are minor problems..nothing important.. i have gained weight, and its really noticable, therefore, i dont like the way i look at the moment, ( dont worry, im not calling myself fat, and i know im pretty, just unhappy, even though i should like the way i look) (wow, john just pffttt, and shhfhff-ed at me, he didnt know why...silly kid) ( is he ever!) hahah, oh yeah, and im sick, i have been for a while, almost a week, its horrible.. heres a little story..
I'm coughing up green flem, and i have no where to put it, so i must swallow it.... make me wanna puke, its salty..
hahah so how was that for a story lol.. any ways, i think this blog is pretty long. and ive updated all i can think of. take care! and I LOVE YOU !!!!! to all my lovers back home!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX -+- Jaida -+-
so.. its been a while since ive written on this god damn thing, but oh well. im still with andrew ( hush hush- mike doesnt need to know, i dont need him freaking out on me again) and everythings fine. got alot of problems, but im sure they will pass sooner or later. Andrews sick, and he went to the doctor, they dont know what he has i guess. but meh, im sitting here in the library at school with John. He's neat. (psst, you guys dont know him) lol. but yeah. humm... what to say, what to say....Allie's sick today too???. hehe.. :( HAPPY BDAY TO ROSS!!! *hugs* from andrew and yours truely..:::::D:D:D:D:D but yeah, so i says to mabel, i says.... id not know what i says, hahah.. i havent been at home since last thursday incase your wondering whay i havent been online...yeah, been at andrews. ive gotten pretty comfortable there.. its wonderful, but its not at the same time because i miss my dogs..ive cried alot in the last few days, more then i have in the past 2 months, its horrible. One little dream triggeres it all. it was about my old rat, Mr. Fizzles....i was disecting her.. and she was still alive, she jumped from my habnds and ran under the bed and i began to cry in my sleep. it woke me up, and i cried some more. I MISS YOU GUYS SOO MUCH! its unbelieveable how much .. i cant even begin to describe how MUCH... RAWR! * humps you all* so yeah, im not sure if im coming there this weekend,i really want to , but i dont at the same time, dont want to see mike, but i do, i just dont want to get into soemthing that will be hard to get over or get out of.. ... yeah.. im going to toronto on march break with andrew, it should be fun.. i hope.. assuming im allowed.. .. but yeah.. im broing you all. so ill leave. byes -+- Jaida -+-
well now, that was iiinteresting! wooooo....so n e ways, there was this guy, and he couldnt find his way to the bathroom...what? you cant hear me? w-what? speak LOUDER?! why you....
hahah im not sure what that was about either,,, im a little messed.. so yeah know. im a retard! HEHEHEHEH *dances like a leprahaun* dum dee dee tee tee te tar....music to my ears..ahhh, * runs and hides in the closet* WTF was that? oops i did it again! * impersonates britany spears* hahah well boys and girls, that was great..
well n eways you guys arent really gunna have n e thing to comment on hehe, seeing how all i worte was .... well nothing.. lol... so BLARF!... RALF.....RAaaaLLF...heheh.. laters
well.. AH! last night was fun.. stayed at andrews and drank and playde scrabble and watched movies.. man, i tired and hungry.,. lol... so yeah. i dont really hae n e thing say so i think ill go now.. ill talk to you guys later! -+- Jaida -+-
hey everyone.. i get food soon! and yay for homework.. i dont really have much to say otner then im TIRED HAHAH.. i was at andrew house last night.. all of 4 hours of sleep YAY! haha.. we watched the lion king 1/2 amazing.. and cabin fever.. "whats that gun for?" " the n*****s" LMFAO! hahah it was great.. so yeha.. im bored and i have to do homework.. FAWKING GAYLORD FAWKER! yeah, i said it! hahah ... so yeah.. im bored and yeah.. i dont know what to say... im apparently "annoying" rrr.. *kicks X* yeha n e ways.. me and will are supposed to do something on sunday. and me and andrew are supposed to do something on tomorow. hahah that made no sence.. n e ways.. i think ill do my homework.. I WISH MY FRIENDS WOULD STOP FIGHTING! *cries*.. lol n e ways,, i love you allllllll! haha laters~ -+- Jaida -+-
hahah im stil putting "ness" after everything... im such a loser im at andrews house.. tis great.. yup, im tired tho. but who cares... yay for tireness HAHASHAH... and i cant spell/play/type today.. i suckbig donkey balls.. eww... bad visual.. yup. id say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SAMMY YESTERDAY... ven tho i already wished her a good one lol.. but it needs t be said.. god damn library wasnt opentoday.. had to sit in people place.. boredom haha.. but twas ok.. humm.. my leg hurts,, i dont hink i should be sitting like this.. oh well.. im all loserish.. ish hahah.. fun fun.. ALEATHA!.. i dont know whyi just ye;lled that. but mah..im being stared at.. lol.. *looks around and ponders*... pondering,, yay,, coma coma :shock: <-- he looks constipated.l. i love it.. *humps him* :x > -+- Jaida-+-
The party was great!. Andrew came with me..*purrs* hes great too. i got a little drunk and fried. so over all. it was great. im sick today. lactos intolerant i am told. and i dran k a big glass of chocolate milk. yay for my forgetfullness. CONGRATS TO ALEATHA AND ASHLEY.. YAY.. n e ways. im selling my horse and getting a paint. yes.. im reallllllly tired now. so i think im going to go lay down.. IT WAS GREAT TO SEE YOU ALL AT THE PARTY! loves you bunches!!!! oh yeha. i almost forgot the hight lite of the night. makingout with meaghan and aleatha ( twas different lmao..) and getting pushed in the snow wearing only a skirt and a shirt.. (undies too lol) twas COLD! thanks andrew! -+- Jaida -+-
yes yes, so now im taking communications technology, and soon to be anthro. yup. i feel like an ass because i never talk to all you best buddies,, yeah.. im sorry. i love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* fucks everyone one* loves you guys! party tonight and im hoping me and andrew can go.. fuck you bad weather *shakes fist* byes..
I GOT A HORSE! and i made a shirt today early this morning.. i registered for school here.. im taking guitar, biology and german.. yay for me.. then one class thats correspondence because then i can catch up hahhhahah yeah.. well n e ways.. thats all thats happened. and i need more chocolate.. and i havent slept since like yesterday... im a weird one lol.. laters
i hate posting.. lol... well the 4 days i spent at will's house was really fun.. allie and chase were there today.. chase spent the night with will and i the 3rd night.. it was fun.. yeah.. uhh.. i was happy to see allie because i hadent seen her for a while.. i went to see butterfly effect.. its amazing.. i jumped tho.. and pooed.. lol.. silly poo.. but yeah. and i saw freddy vs jason... and i want to lick it.. we watched jeepers creepers and jeepers creepers 2 and strangeland and th exprcist, waynes world and goldmember and night of the living dead.. twas good.. and i drank this good italian stuff that tastes like cinnamon and has gold flakes in it... but chase drank all my gold flakes lol.. damn booze snatcher.. hahah... will freaked me out by telling me tht there is a "lady in white" living in his house.. and we kept hearing noises.. could be imagination.. but i was scared enough to drag someone to the bathroom with me.. lol... n e ways i want some KD.. laters
Humm.. I've settled it. im not goin g through another heart break.. im sick of guys.. IM BECOMING A LESBIAN! haha.. wait.. not, im not.. grr dammit.. i didnt go to sleep till 3 this afternoon. i called kevin at around 11 or 12.. and i was so sleep deprived... "are you taking sleep deprivation pills?" kevin said as a joke, so i was like " they have those now?" what ythe funniest thing EVER....
isnt it great to shave off pubic hair? yes.. and to masturbate, every 2 seconds? yes yes.. Oh! and to "eat pussy" but im my words "fuck cats"??heheh i think yes....Porn star dick..OWW!..dunken parties.. MOVIES ON SATURDAY!...and MALL!... me kevin and will are going shopping and WOO!.. i need money haha.. damn kevin and his so-called "job"... damn it all to hell i say... on man, i got the hugest burn last night.. talking to kevin and will in the same chat convo.. so i blurt out. " i drew a pic of a slut" so there like " Self portrait?" hahah i died laughing last night.. a good 3 hours of just plain DYING.. allie missed it.. HA.. aleatha joined at one point too.. i think she was a little lost haha..
Tis very cold in here.. and yay for clean clothes! hhaa.. im still in PJ'S, andi feel so god damned specal! just like i should..
i Pulled a "stunt" as my mother would call it, this morning.. called all the ppl from napanee that i had there #'s for.. i got ahold of my cusin... hahah i woke her up.. it was 930..lol...she needed to get up..
when i went to bed at like 3, darryl came in my room just fter i fell asleep, annnd, he jumped on me. and just layed there for like five mins.. meanwhile im babbling "im tired and i didnt get to sleep till now and i want the door shut and i think im gunna fall over..ugh" lol.. quite the nap.. lol
Well thats all i have to say for today.. just waiting for kev and will to get there butts on msn.. laters!
THANK YOU to Ann.. for making my HEADER!! haha.. *humps ann*
humm.. im only updating it so i will have more tbucks. lol.. i need 46 more to get the fucking disclaimer.. it got all fucked up haha.. damn fucked up-ness.. lol..
i miss stuff.. .. i wanna get drunk.. and i wanna go to the party... yay for drunk parties! woo.. .. humm.. *wants to leave the country* yup.. lol.. humm.. mike called me today.. asked when i was coming to brockville next.. lol.. weird.. hhe.. well im gunna go.. theres nothign to say really * misses Eris* laters
I'm dizzy, very dizzy. I need to go something about this. *thinks to herself* I'll lay down in a bit..yes yes, good idea Jaida..tummy hurts.. needs chocolate... mmm... i miss eris.. dammit.. COME ONLINE!! lol.. im sad.. god damn sad songs and my broken headphones.. oh well, i gots me some good cordless ones now! WOOO...god damn.. im hungry.. but i'll make too much noise.. ... hehehe me and jessica already got yelled at a bunch of times for being noisy lmao.. i dont think i wanna take that risk! hahah... humm. i dont really have much to say .. i woke up at like a few hours ago..lol. i dont remember what time is was tho.. meh wee.. i can type without looking at the key board. and its really fun seeing the letters being added onto the screen, man im simple! haha oh well.. such is life.. but seriously, i wanna hurry up and get out of here.. it blows!.. haha well if n e thing else happens ill post.. but its like 1207, so what more cold happen tonight? OH WAIT! last night i was freaking out because of a spider.. haha im such a loser sometimes.. haha oh well .. laters! FUCK OFF AND DIE... hehh tis a song
Don't you hate it when your Completly happy, then all of a sudden, BAM, your just depressed and are think that things just aren't going to work out,but you still want them to really bad, that pretty much sums up my day, god damn feelings, i hate em. hum
yay for there being no one here but cole, but even still, he needs to go away. and i got jumped on this morning.. jeese! i didnt get to sleep till bout 10 am because, well, i just couldnt sleep. and then darryl jumped on me at 2, after i fell back asleep for bout an hour or so.. not really sure, humm.. *ponders*,i wonder when i will get my heart broken next... *wishes it away*.... and yay for the food in my house.
i played the piano today for the first time in a while.. i actually played good for once, WITH feeling.. and NOT being nervouse.. humm enough bout that..
Last night was interesting.. darryl dissapeared for a few hours.. dunno where he went, but i think he snuck out of the bastment laundry room window! haha.. weird..
I actually got a little bit of recognition today, but i had to say something first. For one, i was watching cloe all day, and i had to help him with shit, and then i cleaned the basement.. i got a " wow! i noticed! it looks really good!" from sheila..tis a first for me.. and apparently ive lost a friend (anonymous)lol, all because i didnt want to talk about something. this is a fucked up world. yay for crying and having no one there to hold you *cries* like come on! this is getting rediculous..seriously.."i've got somewhere i belong, i've got somebody to love" so whay the hell am i not there, or your here. Fuck! like jebus! and yay for not being kicked off the net today..meaning im staying on all night.. i really want to call a certain someone, but i dunno..i talked to shawn last night..it was weird. he appoligized for hurting me and putting all the blame on me,and i got to bitch at him ^_^ made me feel better, buti still need to get out of here, its too hard handeling things on my own..especially when theres no one around to talk to..fucking christ my boobs hurt!...god damn bra! ima burn it.. lol.. actually i dont think i will..
well im gunna go back into my dark little corner for the rest of the day, so good bye to all you happy people out there....
P.S. All of the "lol"s were fake..i wasnt actually laughing out loud..i have no reason to... and i am already aware of the fact that i am a depressed bastard..n e ways, this is the actually goodbye this time, i just felt like puttin g "p.s." something.. so GOODBYE *falls over and hits her head off the corner of the desk and bleeds*
I GOT TO EAT TODAY! chinese food! ^_^yumm... i ate as much as i could ... but then i got sick...*ponders*...the goddamn stove hasnt been working.. so i cant cook n e thing.. damn gas stoves to hell! i put the rest back in the fridge for tomorow. ..im smart like that..
and Eris, i asked darryl if he would get groceries while he was out today and he said "no"....dammit.
everyone was complaining that they hadn't eaten for a couple hours..and im the one that has lost about 25 lbs..so they can be quiet.. so damn them to HAH.. but im all better now. gots me some cheetos! WOO! yay for fake cheese and corn meal all rolled into a neet little bite sized sitck! WOO... lol... mmmmm rice.. *purrs*
i talked to eris on the phone last night.. it made my everything.. mm....yay for cell phones.. but there so damn expencive... rawr n e ways. i think ill leave the rest of my day to your creative imaginations... later to you all!
Humm. Goddamn msn wouldnt connect till like 5 am.. bad msn.. neither would the broswer, but as you cant see YAY it works! ^_^. Mike Gorman called me from the usa. twas cool! i talked to him for bout 4 hours.. he was trying to help me figure out whats wrong with my computer.. but i guess it just needed time. incase your wondering who he is, hes another friend lol.
Eris gave me his # last night, which made me extatic.. lol.. i like that word.. humm. happy i was.. ^_^.. lol..
well, i still cant really eat and its beginning to really suck ass. last night i got dizzy from a lack of food and i felt likei was going to faint.. i think someone should go get groceries.. i mean. sheil will go off and make supper, but she never considers that im here and just makes enough for her and cole. i mean HELLO! there is another person living here who needs to eat maybe just a little more then you do so she doesnt end up in the hospital! like holy fuck. must i scream even more? like holy shit!..
hah enough ranting about that.. lol. n e ways. im off. if n e thing GOOD happens to day, then ill post again...humm.. theres yummy food cooking and i dont get n e onf it.. rawr *misses eris*
humm. what is it with me and putting -ness after everything? haha god damn, my arm is itchy and i just put on nailpolish.. ARGH! heheh *looks around* humm what to say
OO! Eris promised to come and see me. and WEEE! it makes me happy, but i dont know when, candy wants to come too.. lol.. it'll be great! haha, meh. lmao
hummm... well ime and darryl got into a fight last night.. it was weird, well i wouldne say last night, because i gignt go to be till 8 am... but we were arguing for bout an hour, just about stoopid things.. hum lol.. it sucked balls. RAWR! i wish ppl would leave my basketball alone! haah. making new msn buddies is great lmao.. currently got bout 4 cali guys on my list... *drools and wants to go to cali* its my dream place. damn them and there state that i want! hahah.. hummm. di ton really have much else to say. i cleaned the kitchen today.. hopefully that made someone happy, but still, i got no thanks lol. but its the usual. getting no reclognition for n e thing is wonderful *note the sarcasm* lol. well aleatha needs to read my blog, and so do all you other lovley ppl out there. P.S. Remember to COMMENT haha. i hate it when ppl dont. lol Love, Jaida *waves frantically*
I am the son, I am the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son I am the heir Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth How can you say I go about the things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does
I am the son, I am the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son I am the heir Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth How can you say I go about the things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does
There's a club if You'd like to go You could meet somebody who really loves you And You go and You stand on your Own And You leave on your Own And You go home, and you cry And you want to die.
When you say it's gonna happen now What exactly do You mean? See I've already waited too long And all my hope is gone.
You shut your mouth How can you say I go about the things the wrong way I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody does
Well first of: I'm sorry Eris, for whatever i did last night to upset you..
now that thats off my chest... heheeh chest.. lol NE WAYS.. hehehe.. chest! *stop dirty thoughts**slaps herself on the hand* haha
i dont know what im going to do about the moving situation. i think its going to be too hard to move on my own.
Eris, i still want to some see you if you'll let me, but we need to find a way!
humm..monkies have toes too you know. haah i woke up like 2 hours or something ago. i was tired. i was up till like 5 in the morning.. yay for earlyness. humm. i dont really have n e t hing to say other then im sorry to Eris.. but n e ways, i;ve already said it so bah.. humbug.. *roars and falls over*
ok. its 2 30 am. and im sitting here thinking...im torn between emotions. and i dont know what to think now. do i love him? or love him not? he will always be im my heart no matter what. but i need to get away.. just for a while. where no one can find me. and i would be safe, and free, in a world all my own. where nothing could hurt me except for the thoughts of a harsh reality. its sad to think that you need to dissapear for a while, just to be complete and whole again. but if it has to be done, then im sorry guys, but i promise i will be back sooner or later......love always, Jaida
everything that has been happening is extremely weird. i keep having dreams about mike. and hes being mean to me in all of them... like last night i had a dream my car wouldnt start and oddly enough he could drive, b ut he wouldnt give me a ride to school... rrrr. arent friends suposed to help eachother tho?i mean, i asked him if i could stay with him till i found a place, and he said no. so how much of a friend is he? and hes always mean to me and never calls me. friend my ass... and it hurts. his parents are pissing me off because it seems like they told or made him dump me. they said that they wouldnt pay the etra 80$ if i wa living with him because "im too immature" and his mom was like yelling at me. why cant they just die already? all of them!. im sick of this!*cries*
on a happier note, i went to allies last night. kevin and will were there ( 2 of allies friends ) there pretty cool. they slept downstairs on the pullout couch. in the middle of the night there bed collapsed ! it was hillarious!..i actually ate something.. and now i dont feel good. salad, spaghettie, eggs, pasta salad, truffles, and a hole bunch of other stuff. we watched movies last night. bruce almighty and uptown girls. its amazing that the guys sat thru uptown girls. but apparently they liked it. hahah. its funny. ive already seen them both. im exausted...
ok, never mind the rant up top. mike called me and was being nice. he said that if i come back and get on my feet and everything, that "maybe" there is still a chance for us, and he said he will always be there for me. which makes me happy, but i dont know what to do. i still love him. and he loves me, i dont know if he *loves* me tho. and i want to find out. so overall im justhappy and sick! goddam food... yeah. i cant keep it in for very long.. *twitches* wow this is gunna be a long post and prolly no one is gunna read it! lmao but its all good. i think. but do i think? *misses Eris* yes, its eris. lmao.. so n e ways. what you all been up to? im super bored and i have mothing better to do then to wonder about the paris hilton sex video...hummm...is she naked? HAHA im kidding. so all you ppl need tobe on msn. and for some reason, HOTMAIL isnt working for me and its pissing me off. Grrr to hotmail! n e ways, Mc. Flipps is gunna go learn how to butcher someone! lol. laters!
